S' Newz

...an occasional series mentioning current events which held my interest this week...

Everybody's weighed in on this grotesque development adding to the sewage of the presidential campaign. For those under a rock this week, a (white) college student claimed to have been robbed at her ATM, then subsequently beaten and mutilated when her attackers saw her McCain bumper sticker. Her story fell apart at once, when security cameras failed to find her at the scene, and forensics determined that her mutilation was inflicted with a butter knife, not a very effective weapon for threatening victims. This loser didn't even realize that the "B" she cut into her cheek was backward. Take a look at her, and you can tell she doesn't spend enough time in front of a mirror to know that she is looking at a reversed image:






I believe this story received national attention as well. When the Tysons Corner Mall sacked their long-time Santa (after 18 years!), the community decked the halls with boughs of emails. It was all a miscommunication, claimed the mall. The company which supplies the annual Santa (and other seasonal attractions) changed hands, took a look at the current Santa's contract, and dumped him (without notifying him, though he had a contract through 2012. This guy did not find out he had been fired until he called to ask when he should show up for work). They had no idea he was a local icon (or didn't care to find out. Christmas is business, after all.) After the mall received hundreds of emails, a petition, and threats of a boycott, they issued a statement in which they promised to find Santa a job. Someplace.





Hey, this guy has spent so many years in a mall, perhaps the RNC could hire him to help Sarah Palin shop for clothes which are not quite so expensive.








The big news in the theatrical world this week was the debunking of a rumor which has been circulating for a while. Everybody knows that Daniel (Harry Potter franchise) Radcliffe is currently doffing his clothes 8 times a week on Broadway in Equus. The show is such a hit that the producers are on the hunt for another box office draw to replace him when he moves on. Zac (High School Musical franchise) Efron has been pursued, or so the Internet buzz says. Not so, say his people (I wonder what it's like to have people?); no one has approached Efron. Jeez, does anyone care if this guy has the chops to handle such a role? Nope.











I myself shouldn't judge. I hesitate a bit to admit this, but I've never seen any of the High School Musical things. In my defense, I'm an old phart and have no interest in Disney's factory produced products. Hey, the writers haven't even bothered to name their project, they just call it by its genre: "high school musical."






But I have an even more shameful confession. I've never seen any of the Harry Potter things, either. Don't kill me. I have them all on my Netflix queue, I promise. But I've resisted them for the same simple reason that I avoided the books. I absolutely hate books which introduce their own language. You know, made up words. I don't like made up words. I like the words we already have.





For that same reason, I hated A Clockwork Orange, too. I don't want to learn all those new words just to read a book. But that gives me an idea. Zac Efron as Alex, in the remake of A Clockwork Orange. That I might want to see...