Technology Bytes

My dear little laptop, which has kept me company for over four years, is, sadly, about to crash.

I picked up the little critter at Costco, where it attracted my attention simply because it was white. The manufacturer, Averatec, has rarely been heard of, but the machine has done all that I required for low these many years. My geek friends who have examined him are amazed at all the bells and whistles which came installed, but I never used most of them.

In fact, the laptop played second fiddle for the first two years I owned the thing, as I struggled with the lousy desktop model I purchased online. When that monster finally expired (without warning, so I lost everything on it), my Whitey became my only online source, and it met the challenge with ease. I carried the little thing (only about four pounds) with me to Shenandoah for two gigs, and on many trips to visit the siblings and the pater. I also brought it with me on my most recent visit to L.A. , where my buddy Scott declared he hated the thing.

Well, he had his reasons. Truth be told, the laptop has long been past its prime. It started to show its age about two years ago, when I was out at Wayside Theatre on a gig. The internal CD burner had, I suppose, burned out, so I was unable to create a CD. Luckily, one of our actors was a true Geek (thanks, Will!), and he downloaded a program to replace it.

Soon after, the computer's internal speakers got cranky, and would only work if the top of the machine was about three quarters closed. I have no explanation for this phenomenon, except that the poor creature was aging, but still trying to give me his all. (It was this quirk which prompted Scott to declare, "I hate this computer.") While I was in L.A., Scott noticed another quirk: for some spooky reason, the "n" on the keyboard had rubbed out. No other letter, just the "n". Certainly it was a result of the natural oils from my fingers, but why only that key?

Despite Scott's suspicions, I can state here and now that I did NOT visit Naughty Nuns Needing Nookie. Net with any regularity...

Well, last night, the screen on the old dude started to flicker, and this morning, I could only get the screen lit if the lid was closed 3/4ths, just like the speakers. The message is clear: this laptop is dying. But instead of simply ceasing all activity, this little Averatec athlete is still trying to do his duty.

I spent the day downloading files and programs onto CDs, in hopes of transferring them to a new computer before the old one finally expires.

I dislike technology, and have always been a decade behind. I refused to invest in a CD player back in the day, sure that the fad of digital music would pass. When I finally succumbed (forced into the new age of music when artists stopped making vinyl recordings all together), I promised myself two things: I would only purchase two CDs a month, and I would NEVER purchase a CD version of an album I already had.

I broke both those promises in the first month. Aren't you dying to know which CDs were the first of my collection (a collection which now houses over 600 items)? That first month, I had to have Dave Grusin's Greatest Hits, Andrea Marcovicci's What is Love?, and the soundtrack to A Charlie Brown Christmas.

I seem to have drifted off-point here.

My technological stuntedness was nowhere more apparent than in 1993, when I entered graduate school. More than 15 years had passed between my college graduation and my grad school entrance, and in that time. computers had come out of the sci-fi world, and infiltrated our lives. Or at least, the lives of students. When I arrived at USC, I had no idea that my lack of computer knowledge would become such an issue. Hey, I had my portable electric typewriter with me, so I was good to go.

My dandy Smith-Corona was sadly inefficient in Theatre History class, when I spent more time typing my first term paper than writing it (The Ineffectuality of the Landed Gentry of Pre-Revolutionary Russia, as illustrated in Anton Chekhov's The Cherry Orchard...riveting stuff, I must brag). Luckily, I was saved by a fellow student, who took the time to instruct me on how to use a computer (well, on how to use the word processing functions, anyway), so my subsequent paper (Lead Into Gold: the Uses of Alchemy in Chaucer's Canterbury Tales and Greene's Friar Bacon and Friar Bungay) would not require the constant use of white-out.

I appealed to dear ol' Dad, and purchased a second-hand IBM. By the time I presented my third term paper in as many months ("When? Where? What?" The Unities of Time, Place, and Action as discussed in John Dryden's "An Essay of Dramatic Poesy" and applied to John Guare's Four Baboons Adoring the Sun), I was pretty good on Wordperfect, the standard program used at the time.

Since those grad school days, I have had more than a handful of computers, both desktops and laps, but none have functioned with the dexterity of my poor, ancient Averatec. I have never been one to assign human characteristics to inanimate objects (I would be the LAST person to name my car, for example), but still... it seems my little laptop, with the tilted screen, the eccentric sound, the missing "n" and the transplanted internal drive, just wants to age with dignity.

But not so fast. I have to yank out all its innards before its final crash and burn.

Then, of course, I have to figure out how to load all the files onto a new computer.

No wonder I never bought a microwave....

Events, current

What's been happening in this actor's life?







Lots of stuff, but nothing to write home about. Or in this case, write to the ether about.






But as my last several posts have been all about other things, I'll try to bring this one a bit closer to home.






Well, the Madness of Shear continues, with about a month left on my contract. Last week, we were visited by the Big Boss, the Grand Pooh-Bah, the Chief Gee-Whiz, Bruce Jordan. He is the co-creator of the show, and was its first (and probably best) Tony, the role I continue to attempt.










We spent several hours in rehearsal with Bruce, who is an expert at comic acting, and he afforded us new and useful techniques. While advising our cast, Bruce was also training a new director, who will be putting together a production in Malaysia. I don't even know where Malaysia is, or what language they speak, or even if they have hair dressing salons like the one in Shear Madness. And where are they going to get all that shaving creme?






But other things have been going on, too. I've been appearing in a series of staged readings with my buddies at the Washington Stage Guild, while they await the completion of their new theatre. I've been pleased to be included in most of the readings they have been producing this season (in lieu of fully staged productions). It's been a great opportunity to try out different roles, with wacky accents and such, without pressure.








There is an Art to performing in a Staged Reading, and I think I am getting pretty good at it. A Staged Reading, for the uninitiated, is simply a reading of a play by a bunch of actors, with an audience in attendance. With script in hand, the actor attempts to create a semblance of a character, something which might be useful in a fully staged production.







The Stage Guild's season of readings has afforded me the opportunity to experiment with a variety of characters, including an all-knowing butler in The Return of the Prodigal (by St. John Hankin), a doltish copper in The Rising of the Sun, and a suspected Irish murderer in Spreading the News (both by Lady Gregory), a middle class British doctor trapped by his own hypocrisy in Widower's Houses (George Bernard Shaw's first play!), and a cuckolded husband in Dangerous Corner (by J.B. Priestly). My most recent reading for the Guild was a hoot and a half, as I played a myriad of characters, including an upper-class yachtsman, a Cockney zookeeper, a lifeguard right off the beach in Malibu, and a lizard. (In fact, not just a lizard, but the King of the Newts, "Commander Salamander.") The play, called War with the Newts, is an adaptation of a Czech science fiction novel written back in the 1930s, but is, freakishly, very relevant today.










These staged readings yield artistic satisfaction, but no monetary gain. So, I've submitted myself for several sessions of Lawyer Training. These are seminars set up by big law firms to train their young associates on the finer points of appearing in court. These law firms hire actors to portray various litigants, in order for their newbies to practice. I have no doubt I will be reporting more on these episodes as they develop.








And lest you think I have abandoned looking for traditional acting gigs, I'll reveal that I have auditioned twice for the new Renee Zellweger flick which will be filming in our area soon. I've also attended the general auditions for two local theatre companies, in hopes that they might fall madly in love with me.















[uncomfortable silence]
















So far, there has been no happy dancing...

On My List

I never go to New York for pleasure anymore, those days are long gone. Only the possibility of snagging some work will lure me up I-95, as I've already mentioned.

But truth be told, if I had a bucket of expendable income, a long weekend to kill, and a delightful little pied-a-terre in Midtown (or even the Upper West Side! I'm not picky...), I would probably hop a train and return to the City to refresh the juices.

I would love to see Nathan Lane in the newish Mamet play, November. I've been a fan of Lane's since I saw his work several times at the Mark Taper Forum in L.A. This was years before he became nationally known, but his performances in Lips Together, Teeth Apart, and The Lisbon Traviata turned me into a life-long admirer.

I've seen Patti LuPone twice onstage, but never in a musical. As I've already mentioned, the story of Gypsy Rose Lee's mother has been revived a number of times. I've seen Angela Lansbury and Tyne Daly both play the role in the theatre, and Bette Midler's television movie sits in my video collection. But Lupone and Mama Rose seem made for each other, and I bet she's taking the roof off the joint.

Wouldn't this be fun to see? The revival of the 60s era flop Boeing-Boeing has the critics hootin' and hollerin'. It's apparently the slightest sex farce ever, with one-dimensional caricatures and non-stop pacing. Bradley Whitford, returning to his stage roots after a long time in Television, is being teamed with two of my favorite actresses, Christine Baransky and Mary McCormack, and a British actor known largely for his classical work, Mark Rylance, who seems to be stealing the show. Perhaps all these weeks in Shear Madness has put me in the mood for more over-the-top door-slamming.

I wouldn't mind seeing the "Encores" staging of No No Nanette, with Sandy Duncan leading a tap-dancing cast through the froth. These "Encores" are limited runs (about two weeks), so they tend to attract big talents who are reluctant to commit to lengthy runs. Rosie O'Donnell is apparently absolutely hilarious as the maid in this one.

I might put the whole trip off until Bill Irwin's new show, currently in development in Philadelphia, makes it to New York. Irwin is a certifiable genius. I've loved his clowning for many years, though he's a first-class director, too (his adaptation of Scapin ran at the Roundabout years ago). Recently, he's turned to acting in straight plays, and has made a name for himself as a strong interpreter of Albee's words (he won the Tony for Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?), but I look forward to his return to his theatrical roots.

Well, I don't have any expendable income, so my long weekends will be spent, in the foreseeable future, here in DC. I have little or no chance of snagging a cozy hideaway in Manhattan in which to hang my hat, so a trip north to see the above shows remains, well...

...out of reach...

Tina, bring me the ax

Thanks to Stephen Gregory Smith for bringing this very special Mother's Day tribute to my attention.

...by the way, DID YOU SCRUB THE BATHROOM FLOOR TODAY ????

Theatre Droppings: A Happy Time, and Tony and Cleo's Wedding

Signature Theatre took a beating in New York recently, but at their home in Shirlington, it's a happy time, artistically speaking. I really enjoyed the first show of their Kander and Ebb Celebration, Kiss of the Spider Woman, though the local reviews were mixed. I caught the second show of the series several weeks ago, a production of the little-known, scantly-recalled The Happy Time. The show, initially produced back in the 60s as a follow-up to the team's hugely original Cabaret, was not a success in its first production. This intimate story of the black-sheep son returning to the bosom of his small-town French-Canadian family was given an overblown, Full Broadway Treatment, and apparently, the show's assets were swallowed. But here in Signature's smaller space, the show has been scaled down to become the chamber musical it probably always should have been, and it's a real charmer.

Michael Minarik plays the pivotal role of Jacques, the wayward son who returns to his hometown with wild and wonderful tales of the outside world, which he imparts to his impressionable nephew over the objections of his family. For the life of me, I cannot picture Robert Goulet in the role, for which he won a Tony in the original production. Goulet's only asset was his voice, so I cannot imagine he was at all successful in this role, which requires all the nuance, specificity, and internalized conflict which Minarik provides in the Signature production. The supporting cast here is superb, with the emphasis of the show being the close interaction of the family members as they struggle to regain "the happy time" of the title.

Antony and Cleopatra, currently in rep at The Shakespeare Theatre Company with Julius Caesar, has never been one of my favorite plays by the Bard. I'm told the thing has forty scenes, which take place all over the ancient Roman world. This hugeness tends to dwarf the human love story between the two title characters. There isn't much heat generated between them, though when they are apart, they shine. In particular, Suzanne Bertish as the Egyptian queen mines her early scenes for all their comedic potential, and later, as she waits impatiently for news of her beloved Antony, her histrionics seem justified. She's better waiting for Antony than when she's with Antony. The couple's scenes together never seem to ignite. Several of the supporting players make their mark, notably Ted van Greithuysen, who contributes a hilarious drunk scene, and Aubrey Deeker, who makes some interesting and unusual choices as the upstart Octavius.

Naturally, my buddy Kurt Rhoads contributes solidly as Ventidius (it's a mystery, but my friends always do great work), and really, nobody makes a false move. But it's a lengthy evening with lots of dry politics, men in togas, men in tunics, and men in sandals. But the show did remind me of my first acting class in graduate school, where all the MFA actors were assigned the same scene from Antony and Cleopatra. I was singularly unimpressive as Antony, but the experience did introduce me to what has remained the favorite Shakespearean line I have ever uttered:

"Hence, saucy eunuch!"

Beverlee McKinsey

1935-2008

TV Guide called her the best actress in the history of daytime television, and I would agree.

Beverlee McKinsey began her career on the stage. On Broadway, she understudied the leading lady in Neil Simon's Barefoot in the Park, and frequently shared the stage with a young Robert Redford. She created the role of Honey in the original London production of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, appearing opposite acting guru Uta Hagen.

But she found her lasting fame in daytime television. She spent decades working in soaps, beginning with Love is a Many Splendored Thing, and ending with a short gig on General Hospital, but she is surely best remembered for the creation of two iconic roles: Another World's Iris Carrington and Guiding Light's Alexandra Spaulding.

She made a bit of history in both roles.

Along with Shakespearean actor Douglass Watson, and daytime diva Victoria Wyndham, McKinsey created a fascinating triangle which dominated Another World for nearly a decade. She brought great depth to the role of Iris, the society maven with severe daddy issues.

Her performance became so popular that she was spun off into her own soap, Texas, which holds the distinction of being the first daytime drama to premiere as a one-hour program. More history was made here, as McKinsey was billed in the opening credits, the only soap performer ever to be so honored.

Several years after leaving Texas, McKinsey joined Guiding Light in a role which had been created specifically for her, Alexandra Spaulding. Again she played a high-society sophisticate. Her velvety vocal quality and clear, uncluttered acting style allowed her to move seamlessly from icy coldness to heartrending despair, and she became one of the leading ladies of the soap. She spent almost a decade on Guiding Light, and made history there when, after her repeated complaints about her long hours and sub-standard storylines were ignored by the producers, she exercised an obscure clause in her contract and bolted from the show. She moved into a reclusive semi-retirement, surfacing only for the occasional short-term engagement.

In her later years she underwent a kidney transplant, the long-term complications from which she ultimately died last week. She is survived by her son, Scott, currently on the directing team of General Hospital.

During her years on Another World, McKinsey received four consecutive Emmy nominations, losing all of them. Her work appeared effortless, so more frenzied, eccentric performers such as Judith Light went home with statuettes which were rightfully earned by McKinsey.

Expect some kind of memorial tribute at this year's Daytime Emmy Awards Show June 20.

"Glory Days" gored

Glory Days: Are these boys jumping for joy, or jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge?

Did anybody really think this slight little musical could make a successful Broadway transfer?

I applauded the effort, as it is good for the local theatrical community to be represented on the Great White Way. But I'm sorry to see that my initial reactions to Glory Days when it ran at Signature have been echoed by the critics in New York. They have even been reflected in the review Peter Marks filed in the Washington Post. Marks raved about the show during its Signature run, but in a fascinating illustration of successful backpedaling, he revisited the show in New York, and claimed that he never meant the show was much good, but rather that it was a worthy first effort for the twentysomething guys who wrote the thing.

It does NOT do the DC theatrical community much good to submit a show to Broadway which opens and closes on the same day. Such has been the fate of Glory Days. The largely dismissive reviews the show garnered only reinforces the New York attitude that all shows grown in the provinces must be regarded with suspicion.

And I wonder what this 2.5 million dollar flop might mean for the next Signature shows which are aiming for Broadway? The Visit, opening soon in Arlington, stars Chita Rivera and George Hearn and an ensemble which was cast and rehearsed in New York, with every intention of transferring to Broadway. (This show may have a fighting chance, with its Tony-winning stars on board, and the terrific Frank Gelati, a Tony-winner himself, directing the piece.)

But what of next season's planned projectile, Ace? Even as I write this, casting is underway for this show which is being announced as a pre-Broadway engagement. This one, however, is being directed by Signature's artistic director Eric Schaeffer, who helmed the flopped Glory Days, as well as several previous endeavors which failed their transfers to Broadway: Witches of Eastwick, Over and Over, The Rhythm Club, and Mame, among others.

I hate to say it, but maybe Signature Theatre is not ready for the Great White Way...

ADDENDUM: The Tony Awards Committee has deemed "Glory Days" ineligible for award consideration in any category.